Parenting ain’t easy.

Being a mom is the most challenging job I have ever had. It requires physical, emotional and mental strength. As a parent ( or guardian) you are responsible for keeping a little person alive. You try your hardest to keep them happy. You worry whether or not you’re making them smart and/or creative. You question if you’re doing something that is going to lead them to therapy later on. Take all of that, then add on the stress that the world places on you. People are constantly telling you what you need to do and how you need to do it in order to be “super-mom”. There are a million different views on how babies should be raised. And for every person that says turn right there is someone else saying turn left. Everyone will tell you what worked for their baby. It is natural to have an opinion when you are just trying to help. However, it can seem that there are people who do not realize the difference between helping and controlling. I do not think most advice is ill-intended. I think each mom does what is best for her child. I belive God gives each mom the knowledge and skills she needs to raise her baby. 
I will be completely honest, I am pretty confident in my mom skills. Fortunately, I don’t get a lot of unsolicited advice. I have a great support system and I feel like they all trust me to do what is best for Ainsley. But like many others I can sometimes doubt myself.  I begin to ignore my gut and amplify the whispers in my ears. I can feel judged by others and allow myself to be the biggest judge.
Worst of all, I think our generation has a new enemy, the internet bully. You give them a computer and a graphic to add some smart aleck quote to and suddenly everyone is a comedian.
I saw something the other day that basically said ” Sure, being a mom and a wife is hard. But I also have this little side gig called a full time job.” Ouch!
I think I fall somewhere between a stay at home mom and a working mom since I work at home. But I found that saying really offensive. Being a mom is hard no matter where you spend your 9-5.
Being a stay at home mom does give you more time at home but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are getting anything done. I have gotten pretty good at doing things while holding a 23 lb baby. But I can’t do everything. Also If you work outside of the home there are certain luxuries you get to enjoy for a few hours out of the day. For example,  I doubt you have to use the bathroom with someone sitting on your lap. You probably get a lunch break. Hopefully,  your job doesn’t require you to determine why someone is screaming at you, for what seems like, no reason. Trust me, there are days when I wish I had a job to go to. And then I could cry just thinking about going.
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think stay at home moms have it harder than working moms. When I was working I hated having to drop Ainsley off in the mornings. I felt overwhelmed by everything I had to get done and the lack of time I had to do it. It was really challenging for me.
My point is being a mom is hard. Neither type of mom has it easy. Keeping babies alive and well is difficult.  Keeping them happy all the time is impossible. But we do the best we can. There is no need to compare our lives.  Your life doesn’t have to be more difficult than mine for it to be more important.
What I want to encourage people to think about before belittling others’ way of life, is that maybe your way doesn’t work for their family. That does not mean it cannot work for yours. By loving and keeping our families’ best interests at heart we are doing what is right.
Trust your gut. Do the best you can. Love your children and your spouse.  Encourage others. Live in joy. And if you don’t have anything nice to say… well you know the rest 😉
-Callie

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s